| girl: | i'm having vagina surgery |
| boyfriend: | i know |
| girl: | i love you |
| boyfriend: | i love you too | after surgery she wakes up and only dad is there |
| girl: | where is my boyfriend |
| dad: | who do you think gave you the vagina |
| girl: | what |
I’m babysitting tonight. AGAIN. Here is a list of things I’d rather do:
- Cuddle with Dill
- Watch my mother bake for me
- Stub the same toe 4 times on different objects
- Have nightmares about that stupid snake that was in my yard earlier
- Listen to my cat “meow” at me all night because he’s blind and likes lunch meat from the fridge
- Throw myself off of a 10 story building
Okay, so that last one was slightly dramatic. If it weren’t for the 12 dollars for every boring hour I wouldn’t do it. It’s hard to be spoiled without a real job, you guys. Really hard.
Flawless. Perfection.
(Source: textfromdog)
Dolly Parton is a genius and I am so grateful to live in a time where she can brag about her ample bosom in less than 140 characters.
This just made my day 100000x better.
Stationary. That is the only way to describe this.
I need to remember this. This will help me in life.
what was high school like for lizzie mcguire though
like
she goes home after impersonating an italian pop star and half of her class and like the rest of the world saw that she can sing and perform
like
did she just go to high school and date gordo and go to college with him or
what happened to lizzie mcguire
(Source: benigoat)
